It feels like every time I log on to social media, someone I know is getting married, into a relationship, or having a baby. While I am super happy for them I am also content. Content with the fact that I have direction in my life and content with the fact that I am single.You may ask, how can anyone be content with being single. Yes, it may sound weird and all but after dating and experiencing the good, the bad, and the ugly, I’ve also realized that there are certain things that can’t be rushed in life, love being one of those things.
When I was in my late teens, I had my whole life planned out including love. By 25 I wanted to be engaged with a dog and a condo. I remember telling an older friend my life plan and I’ll never forget her response. She told me that you cant plan out your life. I thought she didn’t know what she was talking about until years later when I realized she was right. At 25, I didn’t have a husband, a condo and a dog, I had a failed relationship and I was living at home with my mom. Sort of like the complete opposite of what I had planned. Even though love was something that I always wanted, I sucked at getting it. I was always the smart girl who was driven but continuously fell for the wrong man. Yes, it sucks to be heart broken, but it also sucks to keep falling into the same pattern over and over again. It was until last year that I finally saw what I was doing wrong in love and started taking the steps to do the right thing in love.
I realized that I was the common factor in all my relationships. When things don’t work out in relationships its either because you keep picking the wrong people or you are the problem in the relationship. Since I kept picking all the wrong people, I started dating smart. Instead of going on a date and doing all the talking…I do all the listening. Sure, I talk but you will be so surprised at how much you hear when you actually listen to what someone is saying versus going on the date focused on finding a relationship. After all my listening, I realized that there are a bunch of posers out here. Posers are people who say they want a relationship but don’t know the first thing about being in one. Now that I date smart, I know that a poser is not the one for me. Posers may sound good on paper but since they don’t know what it takes to be in a relationship, there are going to be a lot of highs and lows but mostly lows. I’ve dated the poser many times. I was willing to put up with the lows in hopes that there would be more highs in the future.Let me just say that my old method of thinking used to lead to failure every. single. time. Now that I date smart, I spare myself the wasted time and effort because I know that its not going to be worth it in the end.
With newly gained intelligence comes wisdom and I’m wise enough to know that you can’t rush love. Because when you rush love things never turn out as planned. You become so focused on love that you are blinded to certain realities. You miss out on the red flags that were waving from the beginning or you sweep them under the rug because you are running late and your absolutely have to catch that train to relationship town. That’s what happens when you rush love and that’s why I am content with being single because I know that I am happier knowing that the right man is out there for me instead of being with the wrong man just to have someone. You shouldn’t need a relationship to feel happy or important, you should love yourself enough so that you wont rush things only to fall for a poser. And when you start dating smart you will know when a good person comes into your life and you wont hesitate to fall for them. When the right person comes into your life, they will compliment it, not complicate it. Before I dated smart, I missed out on good people and I missed out on a lot of red flags. Now, I am armed with the knowledge and wisdom to make the right decisions. Don’t rush anything because when the right person comes along you will know it.