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Question: My boyfriend told me that he was going on an all boys trip to Vegas. Because it was an all boys trip, I wasn’t invited. I recently found out that some of the others guys are bringing their girlfriends on the trip. What should I do? Should I confront him? Should I invite myself? Should I just show up?

Answer: The best thing to do would be to confront him (in a non confrontational way) with this new-found information. Let him know that some of the guy’s girlfriends are going on the trip and you are wondering why you weren’t invited. Make sure you say who told you because you don’t want it to come off as hearsay. The worst thing you could do in this situation is assume why he didn’t tell you. If you are in a relationship, you shouldn’t be afraid to keep the lines of communications open. You won’t really be able to know his reasoning until you actually ask him why he omitted that bit of information and why he didn’t invite you. Maybe he didn’t tell you that some of the guys were inviting their girlfriends because he didn’t want to hurt your feelings by telling you he didn’t want you to come. Honestly, how would you feel if he told you that some of the other boys are inviting their girls but he doesn’t want you to come? That’s not an easy thing to tell anyone. It’s ok for you all to take time away from each other and enjoy your friends; you all don’t have to do everything together.

What you shouldn’t do:

  • Assume he is cheating. Unless he has given you a reason to think he is cheating.
  • Just show up. You don’t ever want to be THAT woman and by that I mean the crazy not trusting type.
  • Invite yourself. There is a reason why you weren’t invited in the first place. Inviting yourself will damper his plans of having a weekend with the boys and he may resent you for it.  

Trust and communication are key in this situation. Although it was wrong of him to lie to you, the key is to find out the truth without irrational assumptions.