What exactly does this mean anyway? This phrase can be confusing because usually it comes from out of no where and you never know what the outcome will be of the break. It could mean a variety of things, depending on the reason it was said, who said it, and the circumstances. Could it means he/she wants to break up? Yes! Could it mean he/she just needs space? Yes! Could it mean he/she has found someone else that they are interested in pursuing? Yes! The person who needs the break usually blind sides the other person in the relationship leaving that person lost, confused, and hurt. Taking a break, unless amicable, is always a sticky situation because the person who didn’t request the break doesn’t really know what to do.
Here are some break tips to help you through the process:
- If that’s what they want, let them have it– You can’t force someone to stay so let them have their break.
- Don’t be afraid to ask why– You need some feedback. Maybe its something that you are or are not doing. Maybe they realized they have an issue they need to work on. Whatever the reason, asking why will help you get a better understanding on what you can do, or not do, or what you can work on during the break.
- Don’t over communicate– During the break, try to limit your communications with them. That means don’t text them every day to say “I miss you” or show up at their place. They want a break for a reason. Take some time off to be apart.
- Set a personal time frame– You can’t wait forever for this person to come around. Set a time frame when the both of your can reconvene and talk about things. Let the reason for the break determine the length of time you need apart, but the time frame should be no sooner than a week.
- Establish the rules– What is or isn’t allowed during the break?
- Remain Faithful– Just because you are on break doesn’t mean its time to sleep around, unless both parties agree its OK. Remaining faithful shows that you are dedicated to that person even though they need their space. If the person who requested the break sleeps around during a month break, is that really someone you want to be with?
- Still Not Sure– If you’ve allowed enough time to go by and things have changed but they are still not sure if they want to be with you, it might be time to end the relationship. After the time apart the person should know if they want to be with you and if they are willing to work on things.
Taking a break isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Some people just need their space to collect their thoughts. Just remember, that he/she isn’t going to wait around forever.