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Now that 2011 is coming to an end, December is a great month to reflect on what you’ve learned. I learned a lot about myself, love and life this year.  I grew as a person and became stronger. I feel  like this is the year that I really became an adult and learned how to handle adult problems head on.  I’m extremely thankful for these life and love lessons ! Here are some lessons I’ve learned  in 2011:

  1. Talk is cheap in life and love– Actions speak louder than words. If someone wants to be with you, they will make it happen instead of making up excuses to why it can’t happen.  If someone says they love you they should show you as well.
  2. Its OK to put yourself first– There is a huge difference between being selfish and putting yourself first. Putting yourself first means you are looking out for your best interest while being selfish is doing things that benefit yourself while not thinking about how others will be affected.
  3. Men are great actors– When a man wants something from a woman, mainly sex,  they morph into academy award winners! Doing and/or saying anything necessary to get it. Don’t fall for it!
  4. Trust is to be earned– It’s OK to enter any relationship or friendship with a basic level of trust, you don’t want to enter into each relationship with no trust and paranoia. But you must let someone earn your highest level of trust. It’s OK to limit interactions with someone you don’t deem trustworthy.
  5. It’s OK to say no to a date– If there is someone who wants to date you and your are not quite feeling them, it’s OK to decline their offer. If they are not right for you, go with your gut.
  6. Friends should remain friends– Read my blog on friends turned lovers, enough said.
  7. Not everyone is Mr./Mrs. Right– So stop trying to make everyone you date right for you.
  8. Stop being Naive– See people and situations for what they really are and stop seeing them for what YOU want them to be. You will save yourself a lot of unwanted stress and drama.
  9. Never fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you– You will end up getting hurt and have no one to blame but yourself.
  10. “I’m a good person”– I’ve grown to hate this phrase!  When people say that about themselves, the only person they are trying to convince is themselves. If you are really a “good person,” prove it!
  11. Be OK with being alone– Never rely on someone to make you happy, happiness comes from within. Learn how to enjoy life without being with someone so when the right person comes along, you will appreciate them even more! There is a difference between being lonely and alone.
  12. Stop stressing– Life has its ups and downs and stressing out over the downs won’t make things any better, stressing will just give you gray hairs, wrinkles,  and health problems. Handle things as they come and if it gets too much to handle ask for help (never be afraid to ask for help). A good quote to live by: “tough time’s never last, tough people do.” Amen to that!
  14. Stop dwelling on the past– Shoulda coulda wouldas are sure to drive you crazy crazy crazy. Instead of focusing on things that coulda been, focus on how things can be.
  15. Hold out– Ladies make a man earn your love and affection. Make him work for it! A lot of woman lose out because they are so quick to give in.  Sex won’t get you a man/relationship or help you keep one. If a guy likes you he will wait, if you like him…wait!
  16. The one that got away– GOT AWAY!  Stop dwelling on the past and move on…clearly they did.
  17. Don’t let others waste your time– Time is valuable and no one has an unlimited plethora of it. Cherish it and stop letting others, especially the non worthy, waste it.
  18. You can’t pick your family– But you can chose how you interact with them! Lets face it, not all family is good family but they are still your family. Its OK to love certain family members at a distance.
  19. Don’t be afraid to let go– There comes a time when you realize there are certain people in your life that are doing more harm than good. It’s OK to distance yourself from them. Don’t feel obligated to keep them around because you’ve known them your whole life but they cause you hurt, pain, and stress. You want people in your life who are going to be uplifting, caring and loving. But don’t let them go without giving them an opportunity to change.
  20. Stop trying to change people– It will never happen. People have to want to change on their own and will rebel against people who try to force change on them. Learn how to accept people for who they are, not who you think they should be.
  21. Do what makes you happy– People are going to talk about you no matter if you are doing good, bad, or so-so. You have one life to live, do what makes you happy.
  22. Make a good 1st impression– In life and in love sometimes you only have one chance to make an impression, make it count!
  23. Stop lying to yourself– If you are dating in search of a monogamy or a  relationship…say it! Stop lying to yourself and to the guy/gal your dating by telling them what you think they want to hear to keep them around.
  24. Read a book– Self help books are great tools to get you back on the right track…take advantage of them!
  25. Learn what makes you happy and how to be happy!

With all that said, I am so ready for the new year! 2012 is  going to be a great year…I feel it, declare it, and I am speaking it into existence! Bring it on!