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With so many single women and equal amounts of single men looking for relationships, why is dating so hard? The woman who is actively looking for men claims she wants a good guy, but when a good guy comes along he will simply get looked over once the bad boy shows up. Why is that? Good guys are great, but in the beginning they come off with not having an “edge “or that appeal that the bad boy/jerk tends to have.  Where good guys mess up is that they A. put their all into it without making sure the women feels the same way and B. being way to available physically and emotionally. Women want a man not a doormat. We want to know at the end of the day that our man is going to back us up not sit back and let us take the lead.

Prefect example: I once dated a great guy who told me he loved me two weeks after we started dating. In the beginning I told him that I wanted to take things slow so by dropping the L bomb two weeks in, it made me totally lose interest.  If he had only held back his feeling until he knew I felt the same, who knows what would have happened! Perfect example of  being to available and not making sure I felt the same way ruined his chance before he really got one.

The bad boy or the jerk keeps a woman guessing.  They are mysterious, charming, and emotionally guarded and that’s what is so appealing about them. Women get hooked in the beginning and once shes hooked is when shes finds out he is really an ass hole.  The goal of a good guy should be the same as the goal of the  bag boy/jerk,  to lure her in and get her hooked. If a good guy could hold back and get the woman hooked, she would see what a great guy he was instead of getting the impression that he is a doormat. Now fellas, I’m not saying you have to be a complete jerk, I’m just saying hold back a little. In the beginning, don’t give the woman all of you, leave her wanting more and once she’s hooked, then start being the nice guy you truly are.

Tips to Help the Good Guy get the Girl

  • You Like Her..A lot– STOP RIGHT THERE! Before you confess to her how much you really like her and how much you really want to be with her, take a step back. Does she feel the same way about you? If the answer is no then hold back for a while. If you are not sure, its OK to let her make the first move! Let her be the first to open up and tell you how she feels about you.
  • Don’t be too Affectionate– It’s OK to give her a hug after the date but don’t go overboard by trying to hold her hand and wrap your arm around her on the 3rd date.  Again, if you are insure of how she feels, wait for her to initiate additional affection.
  • Don’t be too Available– Women are going to probably hate me for this but in the beginning you don’t have to answer the phone every time she calls or answers he text right away. I’m not saying wait days (only if you want to be an ass hole) or hours (only if you are really busy),  I’m saying don’t be there at her every command. In the beginning, its OK to wait 5-20 minutes to answer her text or call her back. That way she knows that you have a life and you are not living to be at her beck and call after the 2nd date.
  • Don’t over do it– Give her a chance to respond. Don’t bombard her with phone calls, emails, text messages, etc without waiting for a response. If you text her and it takes her 45 minutes to respond, don’t send her another text before her response. Just wait! Not everyone is glued to their phone…we do have lives ya know!
  • Observe– The way a person feels about you will surely come through by how they treat and act towards you. If she’s telling you she likes you but her actions show other wise (she’s not responsive when you call or text, she has no time for you, etc)…get the hint! If a person truly likes you their actions and words will match up. PS: By get the hint I mean end communication with her.