Have you ever dated someone that you like but realize it will never work? I feel like I’m always in that situation. I like someone because we get along and we have fun together. But there are always a few things, that I consider major, that make me not want to take it to the next level and/or keep them as a friend.
- Dependency – If you talk about or show any hint of drug or alcohol dependency that for sure will keep you in the friend category. If you need to drink everyday to “de-stress “, to me that signals possible dependency to a controlled substance down the road.
- Man Hoar– Ok, we all know what I’m talking about. A guy who sleeps around…a lot! That makes me think that 1) you will never be satisfied with just one woman 2) that you have some kind of underlying issue(s) 3) you will probably cheat 4) you are not ready for a relationship.
- Insecurity– Insecure men usually try to make women feel bad about themselves because they are not secure with who they are. This means he might call you names, talk negatively about you, and try to downplay your ideas or feelings. Even if it’s all in fun, I’m still not down for it.
- Temper– In my mind a man with a temper could possibly become abusive, either verbally or physically. If he is always yelling and screaming to his co workers or friends, he will probably do the same to you.
- Liar– Enough said.
- Frankie Downer– This person is always negative and rarely has anything positive to say. Life is too short to be with or be a downer.
- Communication– If you can’t be verbal about your feelings and expect me to guess how you feel, it’s not going to work. In short, I don’t like guessing games. Either say how you feel or I’ll keep it moving.
- Vindictive– Tit for tat is so elementary school! And having an “I’ll show her attitude” is an immature way to think. If he spends more time thinking of ways to get back at you then actually making the relationship work, it’s time to move on.
When I meet men who exhibit the behaviors above, I really think twice. If you really like this person and things are getting next level-ish, bring the behaviors to their attention. You will be surprised how many people either don’t know that they are doing it or don’t think what they are doing is a problem. If they realize their behavior is causing a problem, they will make an effort to change. Remember: a person has to want to change because they feel that their behavior is a problem. If they don’t feel it’s a problem, they won’t change it. No matter how many times you nag them.