Have you ever thought to yourself; why am I not good in relationships or why do all of my relationships lead nowhere? Chances are it’s not them, it’s you. Now before you jump to conclusions about where this blog is going, keep reading.  You may be thinking, I’m a pretty decent person I get along well with other and have reasonable expectations of the people I date or enter into a relationship with. Have you ever stopped to think that the reasons why your relationships keep failing are because it’s the people you choose to be a relationship with? One thing I noticed about myself is I keep dating the same type of men, the “bad boy” I’ve dated so many bad boys that I even wrote a blog about them! I know their expectations from a woman and I can usually predict the outcome of the relationship if one chooses to enter in one with them.  It’s not the guy who has the problem; it was my failure to realize that I keep dating the same type of men which continuously gets me the same type of results.  Sucks right?  Once you identify the problem, it’s time to come up with a solution. If you are like me and you constantly find yourself dating the same kind person, I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and date someone different from the type of person you usually date.  Since I know I tend to date bad boys, my goal is to date someone who is not a bad boy. A lot easier said than done since I have dated them for so long.  The important thing is that I realized the pattern and I am deciding to put a stop to it and I am challenging you to do the same.  Here are some tips that I have come up with:

Take your time– Don’t rush into something with a guy or girl. Get to know them the best you can before your decide to take things to the next level.

Listen, Watch and Learn– This goes along with taking you time. The longer you take to get to know someone, the easier it will be for you t understand where they are coming from and how their past defines who they are and how it has or hasn’t changed them.   By observing the person you are interested in, you will learn a lot about them.  Don’t be afraid to ask them questions especially about their past dating history.

Make a list– It wasn’t until I wrote the bad boy blog, that I realized, I keep dating the same time of guy! Make a list of all the relationships that you have been in and what characteristics your old flame possessed. Was her or she a listener, aggressive, respectful?  Now take the negative characteristics and turn them into a list of positive list of characteristics you are would like in your future mate. Was your girl a partier? Try and find someone who is not a partier but instead will try new activities that are still fun and exciting. Was your guy quiet and non expressive? Find someone who is expressive of their feelings and their opinions.

I know that change can sometimes be difficult, but in this situation it’s worth it!