I read a quote on twitter yesterday that sparked my interests. The tweet read “Everyone has baggage from past relationships, but the person who really matters is the one that will stand there and help you “unpack”. Ok, in a great world we can get out of a bad relationship and enter a really good one with a guy/gal who will help us work through all our problems and make us complete or happy again. But let’s be honest, how many of us want to enter a relationship with someone who has issues from their past? I’m going to go with not many. Even most airlines will not take your baggage for free.

 

For all of you who have issues stemming from your past relationships: Seek counseling or just talk about your issues with a trusting and knowledgeable friend or family member who will not judge you and offer you great advice or read self help book from people who have been in similar situations and take their advice on how to work through the problem and use it to work through yours.

I love giving examples because sometimes they help others understand the situation better. Readers let’s say you meet a person who had an issue in a past relationship where their partner cheated on them On the surface this person seems nice  and sounds like they have gotten over  the cheating ex so you  that person a chance. Weeks or months later when things have gotten more serious, you realize that this person has trust issues. When you are not with this person they call or text you  contently to see where you are and who you are with and when you give them answers they never  believe you and accuse you of cheating even though you are not. In order for that person to trust you, they want you to always stay home with them and never want you to go out with your friends or talk to them on the phone.  

Let’s be real… are you going to help this person “unpack” as the quote suggest?  I hope not. This person has their own issues with trust because they have dated people in the past who have cheated on them. A person with issues should never alter your lifestyle and this person should have sought help to get over their issues before they entered into another relationship.  You should never enter into another relationship if you are still hurting from a past one.  You should heal your wounds and when you are ready enter into a relationship with someone who is deserving of getting to know the REAL you, not the you plagued with issues and drama.  If you broke your leg playing a sport, you are not going to continue to play on a broken leg right? No, why would you do that? Instead, you are going see your doctor, get a cast and wait till you are fully healed. Then once the cast is off you are going to attend physical therapy to make sure you have full use of your leg again. The same concept should be used in leaving a bad relationship that has left you emotionally scarred.

The moral of the story is that if you have been through some things and have issues, you should “unpack” your problems and work on them, before handing your suitcase of problems over to someone else and expecting them to help you “unpack” them.