Lately, I’ve been so confused by what love really is. Is it a sham, is it even real? There are all sorts of levels of love. You can love someone as a friend or you can be in love with someone which seems to more intense deeper version of love. I am starting to think people get love and a strong like confused. Nobody ever really explains what love is, think about it. When you were a child your parents told you they loved you and you learned what love meant by their actions and their words. You soon realize that you love them too because you are always around them and you are connected to them by DNA or by law. The sad thing is that as a child you also learn the right and wrong way to love by your parents as well. If you parent physically harms you and tells you afterwards that he/she loves you, you end up making the connection that the way to show love is by physically hurting the people that you “love.” Love can be a positive or dysfunctional cycle depending on the way that you were loved as a child.
As a child I would say that I learned about love from two emotionally unavailable parents, who basically equated love with financial support, so maybe that’s why I don’t really know what love is. So to do more research about love, I decided to look up the definition of love through my favorite website dictionary.com….creative right? Well let me just start off by saying love has a freakin long definition! The definitions talks about love, sex, tennis, affair, passion, desire, it’s a verb and a noun, ect. One word that stood out to me in the synonym section was devotion which was defined as “an intense love and steadfast, enduring loyalty to a person”, which I think is what people may confuse with love. To be in love with someone is similar to what the dictionary defines as devotion. But to love someone is defined as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person, a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend, affectionate concern for the well-being of others, to have a strong liking for…”.
Now that I’ve read the definition for love, it all makes sense. I get it now why love comes and goes, it’s easy to fall in love and out of love all in the same day. So I’m right…love is a sham. It’s basically a few steps above liking someone. All this time I thought I loved wrong, when actually I love right. No wonder why people can say “I love you” and treat you like crap and stop talking to you or cheat on you. Because love is a crock! I honestly believe that you cannot tell someone you love them and do things to hurt them, because that is not love. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I am just basing my definition of love by how it is defined by the dictionary.
It’s not love that we all seek; it’s the devotion of another. Devotion to one another is what makes marriages last. If you get married based on love, it’s easy to walk away because according to the definition love is not as involved as devotion. Devotion is what keeps relationships together.
To love is one thing, but to be devoted to someone is another. I also believe that devotion comes in steps as well. You can’t meet someone and instantly be devoted to them. That’s almost impossible, unless you’re Van Gogh…aka crazy but talented. So I guess love is another version of a strong like or a warm personal attachment which can possible lead to devotion of another if it gets that far. So does that mean we shouldn’t take love seriously, unless its devotion…that’s up to you. Now I know the true definition of love, what it means, and what to expect from it.